Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Jose's Diary: I met someone

Hello fans,

It's me Jose, and I want to take a break from my Mets player-GR menu item series to let you in on my personal life a bit. My wife can't read the internets so I guess I wont get in trouble for sharing this. I want to tell you about the terrific woman I met last night, Debbie.

I noticed her there at Ground Round right away, sitting across the bar, all overly tanned a little too muscular and big haired, and well, beautiful. My midget had called a cab so I was alone. He was getting a little bit ornery for a little guy anyway, and I was starting to feel sorry for myself. Debbie came over and introduced herself. I suspected she was married because I saw her slip a ring into her purse as she joined me at one of the high boy tables near the bar. She said her husband was a real jerk, very sucessful but hooked on some drug she didn't want to talk about. She just wanted someone to talk with. They had just moved back to the NY area so he could take some high profile job that would leave him little time for her. She said sometime she was so alone that all she had was her hobby, sewing rhinestones into clothing and hats and then trying to unload the stuff on the internet.

She said she was dedicated to women's health or some shit, and I just smiled and asked her if she'd ever been in a hot tub. The rest of the night, well I'll have to leave it to your imagination.

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Ground Rounders: Jose Reyes

Hi fans,

I have some time on my hands recently, so I have been hanging at GR with my recuperatatory midget, Pepe. I can tell you my friends, that midget can really put them away. So after about 15 Coronas, Pepe and I decided to start a series of posts where I compare a different Mets player to an item on the Ground Round menu.

First up, Jose Reyes, who is most definitely a "Sensational Starter." The way he gets on base, and sets our table, it was no trouble to pick the appetizer he most reminds me of:

Triple Sampler A generous sampler of guest favorites: stuffed potato skins, Buffalo chicken tenderloins and mozzarella cheese sticks.

It is easy to see how each of the three delicious and healthy snacks represents a base, which Jose tears around, headed for yet another triple.

When Jose come up to the plate, second base is guaranteed!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007


Hi fans its me, Jose.

You probably have heard by now that I hurt my ACLU. I do not know all the details, but I want to reassure you that Pedro has loaned me both his new "recuperatatory midget," Pepe, and his "recovery sombrero." I will tell you more when I know. However, I don't need to to tell you that my friend Damion Easley deserves your support, although it is plain from last night's performance that he will never be able to fill my shoes. I think I will be spending a bit more time at the GR for the next few weeks while I do everything in my power to get back on the field.

Thank you for your support.