Wednesday, April 26, 2006

4/25/06 vs San Francisco

Hey fans, here in San Francisco, the whole Barry Bonds thing got me thinking. I thought, "hey Jose, maybe you can enhance your performance."So before the game, I rubbed a clear substance all over my ass and drank a quart of flaxseed oil. Well no results yet fans. I'm now batting at sweet .095 and according to my hitting chart, have only managed to get two fly balls into the outfield at Shea. But the Giant's trainer says it takes time for the stuff to work and that's OK, 'cause I got a guaranteed contract, a nightly pinch-hitting gig, and plenty of time. Thanks Willy and Omar! A lot of you ladies have asked me for more pictures so I will be posting a few from my collection in the future. I'd get some ones of me in Mets gear, but the team photographer keeps avoiding me for some reason. Well, got to go do some grooming, till we meet again check out this crazy Korean cartoon. Can you find me? Later, Metsfans.

8 Comments:

At 8:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Jose, even the Korean fans see how much wind you generate when you swing and miss...!

Great job not hitting again last night. But not to worry, they didn't need you anyway... again...

^_^

 
At 10:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jose,
I'm glad that you didn't hustle out that groundball to Vizcaino last night. If you did hustle to first then you would definitely have been safe, and with one out and men on first and third you would have had to run the bases and your nuts would never have a chance to heal since you still haven't put back on your underwear. I'm sure you knew that the Mets would win anyway so you were just giving those bruised balls of yours more time to heal. As long as they heal well you wont have to go on the DL and we'll have you all year!!! Looking forward to your next meangful at bat.

-Jose's bruised balls

 
At 1:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've just forwarded this message to Bud Selig's office.

 
At 2:19 PM, Anonymous SuperFanChuck said...

I Heart You

 
At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jose.

Have you thought about shaving off your stash for good luck.

Worse case scenario, you shaved off that stupid mustache.

 
At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this blog is awesome keep up the good work Jose....

 
At 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jose, have you ever thought about trying out for the Village People? Maybe your .111 batting average really is a blessing?

 
At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best part was going to your hitting chart, and clicking "show singles" "show doubles" "show triples" and "show home runs" and not seeing anything appear.

http://jpschmack.mlblogs.com/

 

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