Friday, March 30, 2007

Diary: The Mets Clubhouse Situation on the Eve of 2007 Season

Hi fans,
It's me, Jose.

Well, the season is about to start, and I thought I'd fill you in on how the spring went, as far as personalities gelling and the like.

But first, a funny story. A few weeks ago, me and Tony LaRussa hit a Florida-area Ground Round for a couple of beers and appetizers. I remember Tony drank a lot of wine coolers. Then, Tony gave me a ride back to my place, and I was in the middle of a great story about Jerry Reinsdorf and these two lady circus performers when Tony, he just passed out at a light. Luckily for me, I was able to jump out of the car and hide in the bushes when the cops came. I just don't like cops. Man, walking back to my place, I have never wished I was wearing pants as much as I did then.

Well, if you read my blog at all, you probably guessed that Carlos Delgado left his notebook lying around again while he was attending his child's birth, so I was able to really rake this spring. Still, I got a little case of the Grapefruit League lonely's.

Sure, the press reported that I hang out and play dominoes with "Delgado and the Dominoes," which includes Carlos Delgado, Carlos Beltran, and Julio Franco. We actually call the group "Jose and the Geriatrics," but Delgado hasn't been around much, Beltran is always playing with his tennis-ball machine, and Franco is napping almost 24-7. Beltran is more of a cock-fight kind of guy anyhow.

Also, I used to hang around with Endy a lot, but lately he has been distant. Actually, ever since he made "the catch" he has been a little hard to take, ego-wise. He calls me Abuelito, and is always pounding away on his Blackberry, talking about "options" or some shit. Then my boy Jorge Sosa cleared waivers and now he’ll be pulling in $1.25 million at Triple-A New Orleans instead of carrying my bags and making sure my towels are fresh. As for Damion Easley, he is mostly focusing on selling his dietary products in the clubhouse, and hot-rodding his van.

Well, don't worry about me. I have a certain inner strength. I will come through for you fans, tomorrow night, and for the rest of the season. I am groomed and I am ready.

take care,


At 8:48 AM, Anonymous Hot Tub McGee said...

Sweet double play, man. Maybe now Willie will forgive you for your at bat in game 7 last year.

At 10:55 AM, Anonymous youtube guy said...

you are a very funny kid, watch my movie on youtube and have a chuckle on me

At 2:22 PM, Blogger misscandi said...

This is the funniest thing in the World! I just stumbled upon it. So much Fun!!

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